Mom

I was really happy today. After all, it was mother’s day; one day dedicated to me, a mom! Today, I was going to spend my day with my son on a picnic to a beautiful spot in the valley. I needed to hurry as we were getting late. My son had lovingly picked up a saree of his liking for me to wear today! He says, “Mumma, you look really beautiful in a green saree.” And here I was, fulfilling my son’s wish by draping this saree around me. He is such a great kid. Well, every mom feels the same about her son. But I truly feel that about my Vishu!

Since this morning, I had been really busy cooking for our picnic. This was the first time since this morning, I had a moment to look at myself in the mirror. I realized that I am growing fat. Even after working so hard taking care of house and my son, I was still gaining weight. My bra felt tighter around my chest, and I could see skin folds coming out below my bra band and blouse. Ah, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I looked into the mirror once again after completing my makeup. Something felt missing. Oh! The earrings! I quickly found a pair of jhumkas and began to put it on my earlobes. To avoid getting further late, I called my son, “Vishu beta, are you dressed yet?” And he shouted back from his room, “Yes, mom. I am just wearing shoes now.” I was ready to go too. Feeling satisfied with my looks, I headed towards the kitchen. (Beta: A term in Hindi language meaning son)

Vishu’s favorite sweet dish is suji ka halwa prepared by his mother. And that was the only thing left to prepare. I started roasting sujiquickly. I was finding it a little difficult to cook with my long hair open. But Vishu had a special request today that I keep my hair untied today. He is just like his dad! Well, who am I kidding? Yes, I love my looks in open flowing hair. I continued to make halwa somehow managing my hair, and began to pack the picnic basket simultaneously. I once again called my son, “Vishu beta are you ready or not?” You can never trust kids when it comes to getting ready. They can take forever. “Yes, mumma. I am coming out.”, he called back from his room. The sweet dish was done too. “Vishu beta, please bring mumma’s purse from the room. And please bring a pair of black sandals from the closet too.”, I said to Vishu from the kitchen as I finished packing.

I started making Vishu’s favorite suji ka halwa. Like any other mom, I loved cooking for my son.

“Mummy, I can see there are 3 pairs of black sandals. Which one do you want?”, I heard Vishu’s voice from my room. “The one that has low heels, beta. Your mumma has to walk a lot today. She needs comfortable shoes for her feet.”, I said. “OK, mom”, he replied.

He is such an adorable kid. He never says no to anything that I ask him to do. Anyway, we both were the only ones in this home supporting each other.

I picked up the picnic bag and walked to the front room. My lovely son was sitting there on a sofa. “Beta, where is my purse?”, I asked Vishu. “Here it is, mumma”, he handed my purse to me. I checked my purse to see if everything useful is in there. Any mother needs a lot of things in her purse to take care of her kids. And then I realized that my forehead felt a little lighter. I touched it with my fingers and found that I must have dropped my bindi somewhere. I took out a packet of bindifrom my purse and applied it on my forehead. I smiled at Vishu and asked him, “So, how does your mumma look?” He replied instantly, “Very beautiful!”

Now, all I had to do was put on my sandals and leave. I pulled my saree pallu to the front as I sat on the chair to wear my sandals. As soon as I picked my sandals, Vishu stopped me. “One minute, mom. Today is mother’s day. Won’t you let me touch your feet today?”, and Vishu bowed down to touch my feet for my blessings, and began to slide my feet in sandals. The joy in my heart saw no bounds at his gesture. I don’t know where did he learn to do such sweet things for his mom. But I kissed on his forehead to express my love.

“Mom, this greeting card is for you”, he handed me a card to read. And I began to read it with joy and excitement. The card had written “World’s best mom ever” on the top. When I opened the card, I saw that there was a sweet small message written inside by Vishu. “Tvameva mata cha pita tvameva. Tvameva sarvam mam dev dev. (You are my mother. You are my father. You are my everything. You are my god.)  I love you mom!”

I had tears of joy after reading that message. I cannot describe how happy I felt. After so many years of hard work and love, I got my reward in the form of love from my son. His words were so true and meaningful. I was his mom, and I was his dad too.

With lots of love, Vishu had written a message for me in a card for mother’s day. I felt so much love reading it.

He was about 7 when his mother left this world. A young kid was barely learning to live without his mother with the help of his grandmother. But after 2 months, even his grandmother had to go back to her home to take care of his ailing grandfather. He used to remain sad after his grandma left. And after a few days, he came to me and said with a lot of innocence in his eyes, “Papa, I miss mumma.” My heart was shattered hearing those words from him. I was already broken due to the loss of my wife, but I could not see my son like this. I hugged him and said to him, “Vishu, why don’t you watch a cartoon show for a while? I am coming back in a few minutes.” I thought that a cartoon show might distract him from the sadness for a while.

Though I was a crossdresser, but I never had dressed as a woman in front of my son before that day. And after my wife left us, my life had become empty and my desire to dress up had vanished. But that day, hearing the words of my sad son, I thought probably this is the only way left for me. I took out one of my wife’s saree from her closet for which I had a somewhat matching blouse of my size. Holding that soft silk saree in my hand, I was reminded of my wife whom I loved so much. She looked like an angel in this saree. I touched that saree on my face hoping to feel her presence. I wanted to cry. But I controlled my heart, and began to wear that delicate saree slowly. As I wrapped it around my body, I felt as if my wife was hugging me and telling me, “You are doing a good thing, Shrikant. Please give Vishu the love of a mother. Take care of my son.” I cried within.

Holding my wife’s necklace in my hands, I could not stop remembering my wife. How was I supposed to control my emotions?

When I started doing makeup, my hands which were otherwise skilled to do so, resisted my efforts to look beautiful that day. My heart was in so much pain. I put on a wig and took out my wife’s necklace from the closet. I thought that may be looking at his mother’s saree and her necklace, Vishu will fill the void in his heart at least temporarily. When I held that necklace in my hands, I had droplets of tears in my eyes. I had bought this as an anniversary gift for her. How happy she was that day when she looked at it first! I put that necklace on my neck, and gathered all the courage to go out and take care of my son.

He was silently watching the television in that room. To get his attention, I changed my voice with a high pitch like a woman and said to him, “Vishu beta, see who is here to meet you!” He slowly moved his sad eyes to look behind at me. The moment he saw me, there was a big smile on his face. “Papa, you have become a girl!”, and he began to laugh out loud. “Not a girl, your papa has become your mummy!”, I said to him. He was laughing at me, but at least he was laughing after so many days. And I felt happy to see that. I then bent down and said to him, “You missed your mom, right? Aren’t you going to hug your mumma now?” And he came running into my arms. The satisfaction I felt hugging him in my arms, probably that’s what being a mother is all about. The feeling of being a mom was incredible and satisfying. That night he played with me and kept repeatedly calling me mummy, mummy,… and he slept peacefully. I went to my room and slept after changing too.

Wearing my wife’s saree, my heart was crying inside remembering her. But I had to control my emotions and be ready for my son who needed me the most.

When wearing a saree that night, I was thinking that this was going to be one time thing to amuse Vishu. But he was an innocent child who would miss his mother anytime he would see some kid with their mom in his school. And he would come to me that day and say, “Papa, I want to see mumma today.” And I had to oblige his request by becoming his mumma while stopping everything else I might have been doing at that time. I had began cross-dressing once again in my life; not for me but for him. And slowly, I had to become Vishu’s mother two or three times in a week. It was a hassle to say the least! Well, making Vishu’s lunch box or helping him get dressed for the school in the morning would take the same amount of time whether I was being his papa or his mom. But to be his mom, I had to wake up at 4 to dress up. And now, I had to wax my full body from time to time. Ouch! Vishu didn’t want his mother to look less in any manner. Imagine doing a makeup at 4:15 in the morning! But I loved to do it for my son who considered his mumma to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

Still everything was fine until it happened within our home, I had learnt to live with a little extra effort. But my loving son was going to show me the kind of days I had never imagined!

One day Vishu had to go to his classmate Tanisha’s birthday party. As Vishu’s dad, I used to drop him off after the school to play with Tanisha under the supervision of Tanisha’s mother Smita. And Smita who was a single mom herself, would take a good care of him. She knew the kind of love a child without a mother needed. And on Tanisha’s birthday, I was planning to drop-off Vishu as his dad like any other day. But that day, he got adamant that he would go their only with his mumma. I tried to cajole him but he didn’t budge. If I didn’t take him on Tanisha’s birthday, her mother Smita might feel offended. Seeing that Vishu was being adamant, I agreed to become his mumma.

Never before in my life, I had stepped outside the four walls of our home as a woman. But that day, I took Vishu into the car and began to drive towards Tanisha’s home. Afraid of being caught as a woman, I carefully tried to avoid eye contact with anyone on the road. There was an unknown fear but thankfully, we didn’t meet anyone we knew on the road.

I stopped a little further ahead of Tanisha’s home and said to Vishu, “My dear beta, now you need to walk from here. Take this gift and give it to Tanisha. And walk slowly on the side of the road. Do you understand what mumma is saying beta?” I was being a careful mom.

But Vishu had something different planned that day. “I am not going there alone. Everyone comes with their mom. I want my mumma too! I am not going without you.”, Vishu frowned his face.

“Come on, beta. Won’t my lovely son listen to his mumma?”, I hugged him with love and tried to make him understand. But he remained obstinate. He got out of the car and began to pull my saree pallu to take me along with him. This was not going to be easy to convince him. As a father, I could be stern with him but as a mother, I could not even if I wanted to. Something changed in me as soon as I become Vishu’s mother. I tried to prevent my saree from unraveling due to Vishu’s constant pull as I remained in my car like a clueless mother with a kid throwing tantrums.

My worst fear was coming true. I could see from a distance that Smita, Tanisha’s mom, had come out of her house for some reason. And she had noticed Vishu pulling my saree pallu. She began to approach towards us. My heart began to beat faster as I got really afraid of getting caught. “Please listen to your mumma, Vishu. Aren’t you a loving son of mumma? See your friend Tanisha must be waiting for you at the party. Please, let your mumma go. I promise your mumma will come back after the party to take you home.”, I made my last effort to convince Vishu as I planned to drive away. But with him continuing to tug my pallu, I could not just drive away safely. And soon, Smita was there.

“Finally I get to meet Vishu’s mother today!”, Smita looked at me smiling. Feeling embarrassed at the situation, I could only give a half jerky smile in response. “Please, join us for the party. Tanisha would be happy to meet Vishu’s mother!”, Smita said. “Yes, mumma. Please come.”, Vishu pleaded assertively as he had a supporting partner now.

“May be some other day”, I was turning red with embarrassment.

“If not me, at least listen to Vishu, Shrikant.”, Smita said to me. She was calling me by my male name. Now there was no doubt that that she had recognized me. “Please come. I promise there is nothing to worry about”, she said again.

How was I to tell Smita what my situation was at the moment? I felt so humiliated to even utter a word. But now that Smita knew, it would not take much longer for this news to spread to others. Feeling humiliated, I came out of my car. I held Vishu’s hand with one hand, and began walking with Smita. My saree pleats on shoulder had unraveled due to Vishu’s pull, and I had to hold my unraveled pallu with another hand as I wrapped it around myself. I had never felt more uncomfortable in my life. And it was only going to increase in the presence of others at the party.

“Vishu had told me that he has a mom as well as a dad. And he even said that they both are the same”, Smita looked towards me as if she wanted some kind of explanation. But my lips were sealed. And I could only utter “Hmm”. I should have thought about this mother business a long time back. I should have realized that kids can say anything to anyone anytime. I should have explained to Vishu beforehand that he should not mention his mumma to anyone. But it was too late to regret now.

As a mom, I wanted to fulfill each wish of my son. That had become the goal of my life as a mother.

“Anyway, what name do you go by? I mean I know Shrikant is your name but …?”, Smita asked me politely. She was not being insulting in anyway. “Vishu’s mom”, I replied. Though I had a feminine name as a cross-dresser from long time back, but now I was Vishu’s mother. And I wanted to keep this identity separate from that of a crossdresser from the past.

“But you must have thought of some name to identify yourself?”, Smita asked again.

I was crying inside due to the situation. I found it very hard to take another step towards the party where there would be many more people. I mustered all the courage I had and said, “Smita, I am really sorry. I should not have come here like this. Please don’t feel offended but I request you to keep this Tanisha’s gift. I would like to go back with Vishu now. And if you decide to not have Vishu at your home again, I would understand. But I seriously request you to not punish these kids who are good friends because of the mistake of his father.” I pleaded with hands folded in front of Smita.

“Sushmita!”, Smita exclaimed. “What?”, I was perplexed.

“Smita’s friend and Vishu’s mom. Yes, Sushmita is a good name for my girlfriend and Vishu’s mother.”, Smita said excitedly. She grabbed my hand and began to pull me to take me to her home. And this is how, I got my new name Sushmita as Vishu’s mother! I can still remember how I humiliated I felt that day.

Inside Smita’s home, she introduced me to all the parents present at the party as her friend Sushmita who also happens to be Vishu’s mother. But everyone knew that Vishu’s mother was no longer in this world. No matter, how feminine my appearance was, but everyone knew the truth. Those who didn’t know me before, now knew me as a man who showed up at the party wearing a saree. And slowly people began to talk about me in a hushed voice in that party. Some were laughing behind me, some were looking at me with surprise; some lady walked up to me to tell me that she could not believe I could drape a saree so well. She loved my blouse design. Some were talking among themselves, “There are so many kids who grow up without their mothers. But what kind of father does something like that?” But Smita kept me closer to her for the entire party. As if, she was trying to be protective towards me. I appreciated her gesture. She was being really kind to me. May be she understood the challenges of being a single parent.

Because of Vishu, I had to present myself as his mom in front of everyone at Tanisha’s birthday. I was so embarrassed that day.

“Tanisha, come here my pretty girl! Won’t you give a hug Vishu’s mom?”, Smita called her daughter. And that little angel came up to me to give me a hug. I bent down to hug her back with a lot of love in my heart. “Wow, you look like a fairy Tanisha!”, I said to her. “Thank you aunty”, she said and then ran back to play with Vishu. Becoming a woman had made me a better loving person. I smiled looking at those two play. My eyes met Smita’s. We two were mothers who were happy that our kids got along very well.

I came back home with Vishu after that party was over. It was already past his sleeping time, so he was already asleep in the car. I held him in my hands and pulled him upto my chest. I took him to my room and tucked him in the bed. I looked intently at my loving son, thinking about what he made his mumma go through tonight. I slept next to him after removing my bangles and earrings. That night, I didn’t know what was going to happen next but I could remember what Smita had said to me last, “Sushmita, we will keep seeing each other!” I laughed at my ordeal. It didn’t matter if I go out as Shrikant or Sushmita, I will have to face the same amount of humiliation now. So why not become Sushmita occasionally for Vishu’s sake?

And that’s how a new friendship began between Smita and Sushmita, and between Smita and Shrikant too. We two had become good friends and our kids were already good friends. Tanisha was really a sweet girl who accepted me both as an uncle and as an aunty.

When Smita gave me the support, I began to go out with her as Sushmita. Time was flying fast. Vishu was growing up and maturing fast. He understood his mom’s dilemma, and he began to ask for his mumma only occasionally. Now, I would be his mom only once or twice in a week, and that too only for a few hours. Smita supported me a lot in raising Vishu. Whenever I tried to thank her for her support, she would say to me, “Shrikant, Tanisha doesn’t have a father. And you helped me fill that void.” If I have to be honest, something was happening in our hearts as we began to spend more time together. But for our kids’ sake, we did not act on it, and remained good friends.

And soon Smita and I became best girlfriends!

Time flew by and my son Vishu was now 13! And today on mother’s day, we were going to spend this day together. Today, his loving greeting card message made me realize that I became successful as a mother too. Wherever my wife is today, she would surely be happy to see this moment. And in that happiness, I had tears of joy in my eyes.

Vishu wiped my tears and said to me, “Mumma, you are so nice. You have done so much for me. You know I would like to become like you.”

I hugged my loving son back and said to him, “So, you want to be like me? But why? You are already so much more adorable and loving than me!” Mother’s unconditional love for her son was speaking.

“No, mumma. You didn’t understand. I want to be a good person like you. But I… I… want to look like you too”, he said looking into my eyes. “… do you get me, mumma?”

I laughed with love. “You want to wear sarees like your mumma?” I knew Vishu was not a cross-dresser. Because I had a talk with him a couple of times about what it means to be a cross-dresser sometime back. I didn’t want to hide this truth about me from him. But at least on this front, he was not like his father. He was just trying to show his love and admiration to his mumma. “My stupid son! You are gonna make your mumma cry and ruin her makeup by making her emotional today!”, I gently stroked his hair. I pulled his head into my chest with love, and covered him with my saree aanchal. “I love you, beta.”, I said to him.

“Mumma, even if your makeup is ruined, you are still the most beautiful in this world.”, Vishu said smilingly.

I smiled and rolled my eyes mischievously, “My dear dialogue master son! I know you would have used the same dialogue on your Tanisha. I know everything. Afterall, I am your mumma!”

“Mumma!”, Vishu revolted and shied away.

“Come, get hold of this picnic bag. Your girlfriend Tanisha and her mom must be waiting for us. We are already getting late.”, I got up from the chair. I kept that beautiful card from Vishu in my purse. I wanted to show it to Smita. Oh, my loving son! How he would blush every time I mentioned Tanisha’s name. He was being teased by his own mother!

And like a lovely mom, I began to tease Vishu.

We both walked up to our car. I teased Vishu once again and asked him, “Tell me one thing. The day you get married to Tanisha, are you going to invite your dad or mumma? You know we both can’t be there at the same time.”

“Hmm.. I don’t care who comes for the wedding, but when I bring my bride home, I want my mumma to be there to welcome her daughter-in-law!”, Vishu responded laughingly.

“So, it’s confirmed! Tanisha is going to be my daughter-in-law.”, I laughed. We, the mother-son duo, both laughed and began to drive.

I don’t know what lies in the future. May be Vishu and Tanisha will get married, may be not. But I would be happy if she becomes my daughter-in-law. She really accepts me as a woman. Smita, who had been there to support us always, would become related-in-law. I know it is years before anything like that happens, but it gave me joy thinking about that.

When I remember my old days as a cross-dresser, I always wished to become a mother. But I never had imagined that this is how my wish will be fulfilled. It had not been an easy road; but the experience of motherhood is invaluable. Now, I know what it means to love unconditionally and what it means to be a mother. I don’t know how much Vishu will be there with me when he grows up, but these moments filled with love with my son, I want to live it to the fullest.

The End

Have you ever dreamt of becoming a mom, or ever experienced being a mother? If you liked this story, please write a comment and use the star ratings option at the top of this page to give your rating for this story.

Nursing Student :: Dreams of an Indian Cross dresser

 This story was written by keti cheli and publish in fictionmania site...

The First Male Nursing Student
Hi! My name is Suman and this is my story. I come from a middle class
family. During my school, I was relatively good in studies. So like any
other good student, I dreamt of being a medical doctor someday.

I finished my school with relatively good marks and started to prepare
for the MBBS entrance exams. However, entrance exams were not something
for me. Despite my best efforts and waiting for two years, I was unable
to achieve a seat in the medical school. It was even more frustrating
to see other guys who studied less that myself getting admissions. I
was very depressed and so were my parents who had hoped that their only
son would become a doctor someday.I never thought of applying for allied fields of medicine such as
pharmacology, lab technology, microbiology etc because I looked down
upon those subjects. However, one day everything changed.

A friend of mine, Asha, called me and informed there was a seminar in a
nursing college. Asha was the topper in our school. She had never been
second in class academically. She is beautiful, can dance and sing well
but is still very humble. And in case you are wondering, I don't have a
crush on her. No, I am not gay, but I have never thought I could handle
and nurture her talents for lifetime or even for a moment. If you want
to be a good doctor, all you have to focus on is your studies and
nothing else.

Just like me, she had been waiting for getting admission in a medical
school. With no fruitful results, she started to give a second thought
to nursing. I decided to accompany her to the seminar but had no plans
of joining nursing. "Nursing is for dumb girls" was what I thought and
I was neither dumb nor a girl.

I met Asha and we headed towards the venue of the seminar. On the way,
I asked her why she preferred nursing to waiting for another year. Her
answer surprised me. She said that there is more scope for nursing
nowadays and the best nurses earn a lot, sometimes even more than
doctors; and that nurses don't get sued very often. She also told me
that it is more humane and less tedious job. A person can have a normal
family life as a nurse but not as a doctor. So she was now thinking of
joining the nursing course and was not even considering joining MBBS.

The seminar was very influencing and well organized with articulate and
down to earth but inspiring presenters. I came to know that nursing is
not what I thought it to be and is a very professional and demanding
job. I was surprised to hear that male students are eligible for
joining the bachelor in nursing course. However, not even a single boy
had ever considered applying for the course till date. Whether it was
my prudence, instinct, influence of the well-organized seminar or
something else, I don't know, but something was tempting me to join
this course.

I had wasted 2 years of my life trying to clear entrance exams in the
medical school and I had little hope that I would succeed this time.
Besides, the pressure and busy life of doctor is not something that I
think I would like to have or would be able to handle. The words of
Asha and the charm of seminar got stuck to the back of my mind. With
all those thoughts in mind I decided to appear for the entrance exam of
the nursing school. I filled the form with Asha. She was surprised by
my decision. I, on contrary, started to think about how to prepare for
the test.

I returned home. My mom asked me where I had been the whole day. I
answered her that I had accompanied Asha to a seminar about nursing.
She looked depressed and said in a sympathetic voice "Poor girl. She
could have made a fine doctor but these two years of waiting and the
numerous marriage proposals must have shattered all the confidence that
she had accumulated over the years. Now she will end up just as a nurse
and most probably will end up being married to an average boy. She will
have a hard time later when her doctor sister will have a much higher
status of life and she would be regretting this day"

I didn't argue with her or tell her about my applying to the nursing
college and went straight to my room. I started to think... Even if I
finish the course, I don't have job guarantee...what if none of the
hospitals want a male nurse... Well, I may apply to the court and
charge them about gender discrimination. Ok, even if I get a job, the
male doctors prefer the hot mindless nurses to work by their
sides...those bastards. Female nurses wont like to see a man take over
their natural jobs...the feminists, so none of the doctors would want
me to be by their side and I would be a professional outcast in the
hospital! Well...I have to be very flexible to the doctors and the
patients to keep my job secure and not to be a professional outcast. I
would have to succumb to their whims as well as to abide by the rules
of the hospital and have to make sure that the administration sees no
difference between the female nurses and me. I have to be dedicated to
my patients and my work... what if the doctors and patients call me
sister...well if that's convenient for them, lets get used to that
name... what if the administration wants to have all their nurses
wearing skirt...well wearing skirt would make me look like a clown...
at least some patients can laugh! What if they think that skirt alone
would be too odd and to decrease the oddity what if they want me to
wear some make up may be pantyhose during winters and also long hair
and blouse, bra etc., grow long hair may be... well I wont grow long
hair...

I started to recollect my childhood... I remembered my childhood photos
with long hair... I looked just like my mom as a child. My mom,
nostalgic about her childhood and her family whom she hadn't seen since
she eloped with my dad, had my hair stay long, straight and silky until
I was about sixteen and I deliberately started growing beard to look
different from that girlish look and my mom finally realized that it
was time for me to grow as me not as her. Actually, my mother lost her
parents, her brother and sister in law and almost all of her blood
relatives in a plane crash when I was about 8. She was psychologically
very depressed and had to see a psychologist. The psychologist told me
to keep my hair in the girlish way because my mom's mind was so
disturbed that she could commit suicide if she saw me with short hair
thinking that the girl (me) with long hair is dead (i.e. a boyish
looking me in short hair) means that her childhood is nonexistent and
she is non-existent and is a living dead. So I had to keep my hair long
and girlish for my mom's sake.

I hated being treated like a girl in school...when I was 13 the
principal, ex Brig. Ritesh Sumsher Thapa, had given me an ultimatum to
either get my haircut or start wearing skirt to school. I tried to
explain him my situation but he was a stubborn military man who cared
about discipline much more than anything else. So, for two years, I
wore skirts, ribbons and all that the school rules demanded. Besides,
it was time of puberty of most of the girls and they started wearing
bra one by one. The lines of bra were visible under their shirts. I
felt a bit unconfident not having those lines and curves. So I asked my
father to buy some "stuffed" bra for me. He was shocked initially but
reevaluating my situation he balked and I felt a bit insider - at least
in the girl camp where I was accepted.

Being a pseudogirl was a horrible experience. I had to give up sports.
My friends were ashamed to be with me and started ignoring me. The
senior boys bullied me and I was the target of lolas in holi (holi is a
festival of Nepal in which some of the ruffian boys take pride by
throwing water/color filled lolas or balloons at the girls for about a
week). A very effeminate boy called Raju and the girls of Asha's group
were my only asylum. But the teachers were very supportive for which I
am thankful to them. Although it was a social suicide for me, it gave
me an opportunity to improve my somewhat mediocre grades and I also
learned a few skills designated "girls only".

You might have thought why I didn't leave the school. Well, my father
always wants me to learn to survive in the most hostile of places and
according to him this was a test which I had to pass in order to be
mentally strong and to combat the challenge of the principal. Of
course, the principal was not satisfied with me dressed up and tried to
harass me in any possible way. He organized a program on teej (a hindu
fasting festival performed by women in which the women sing and dance)
and had me dressed in sari and blouse and sarcastically told me that
real woman fasts on this day. I accepted his challenge and didn't eat
anything and danced that day. On bhai tika (festival in which sisters
pray for the protection of their brothers and brothers give gifts to
their sisters) he brought his 5 years old son to me and said that since
I don't have any brothers and his son does not have any sisters it
would be good for our relationship if I celebrated the occasion with
his son. I was enraged but knew that this was test of my character and
adaptation skills, I agreed. All three years from 13-15/16 in which he
was principal, I acted as if I was a natural happy girl in front of him
and celebrated these festivals. His son was too young to provide me
with any presents on bhai tika so he bought the presents and gave it to
me on his son's behalf. He was careful to choose the most girlish
dresses as presents and I was good enough to wear those dresses on
field trips and school parties. When I was 16 he was so desperate and
irritated with me that he gave me a pair of lacy black silk bra and
panty. When I opened the present, my face turned red, he began to laugh
as if he had finally won. But I wouldn't let go that easily. I
requested my geography teacher to take us to a field visit to Tatopani
(a natural hot water geyser in Nepal), which he agreed. There were
various hot water pools constructed near the geyser where people used
to enjoy the water. All of the girls started enjoying in a pool

and the boys including the principal jumped in another adjacent pool. I joined
the girl's pool wearing nothing but the very bra and panty, which I
received as present. Although I didn't look sexy, may be not even
passable, I was gaining attention and a creepy boy finally commented
"nice lingerie". I replied, "well thanks but Mr. Thapa gave it to me as
a present so please comment him on the choice of lingerie". The
principal was turning red and got so ashamed that he returned from the
trip the very same day.

Anyways, my adventure as a girl finished when I reached puberty at 16
and had facial hair. My mom had recovered significantly by now and like
I already said, she let me be myself. The girls who once were my
protectors were now my good friends. I cut my hair short and started to
live life as a boy. Raju, the feminine boy, got a bit out of touch
after that. But the rest of the girls were still my good friends. Later
I heard that Raju was about to migrate to Bankok with his family. I met
him once and he was in tears. Actually, he was going to have a sex
change and start a new life there. He said that he was very much
encouraged by my bravery.

Anyway ... I started to think again...I don't want to be a girl
anymore. I had faced my challenge and won it. I just wanted to be a
normal person. But how can a male nurse be normal in Nepal? I felt bad
for applying... Joining the nursing course would be a social suicide...
everyone would know about it and I would be the laughing stock of all
again... I knew I was about to be depressed so I tried to focus on the
brighter side...

...before I face the world, I will study in a college full of women and
since the hostel is compulsory, I would be the only men near them ...
God! I think I will have my wood poking at my pant 24/7 with all those
hot girls around me! I would be like a sperm surrounded by all the ova!
I will get to choose the girl I go out with. I would be ruling that
place! ... With those thoughts polluting my mind I fell asleep.

I woke up late the next morning. I started to think rationally.
Applying for nursing and appearing for the test does not mean that I
have to study nursing... it is just keeping an additional door open as
well as to test whether I am capable to become even a nurse let alone
doctor... so lets take the test and see what happens... if the results
are good, it will boost up my morale... if results are bad, I don't
stand a chance to become a doctor in this life... so I will take the
test

Both Asha and I had applied for entrance in nursing college. Suman is a
name, which is common for both male and female. So when I applied the
people must have thought that some girl was applying but when I entered
the exam hall to take the test, the people were surprised.

First time in the history of the nursing college had any male applied
for studies. Soon, the results were out. To my surprise, Asha had
topped the exam and I was 2nd position holder. But suddenly my surprise
turned to fear. I hadn't informed my parents that I was applying for a
nursing course and now I had got such a good position with full
scholarship (all expenses covered) I didn't want to turn back. So, I
decided to convince my parents and stick to my decision. I was waiting
for the right moment to declare my success to my parents.

However, my parents had already known about my admission. The fact that
I appeared for "female" exams and almost topped it had become hot news
in the city and was printed in the newspaper. Reporters had flooded our
house. So I was almost a celebrity. My parents weren't that upset about
my choice of education especially after all the media coverage, which
feels good by the way! They said that they would support whatever I
will be doing.

So it was all set then. I will be joining a nursing college.

The college and hostel were in a place about an hour away from my home.
I had never stayed in a hostel in my life ever before. So, I decided to
go to the hostel and stay there about a week before my classes actually
started.

As soon as I entered the college premises, things started getting
strange. All the students were supposed to stay in the hostel. Two
students were supposed to share a room. However, there was only girl's
hostel and no building with the facilities of hostel anywhere nearby.
So, they decided that I would be living in the girl's hostel but since
I am a boy I would not be sharing room with a girl (for matters of
privacy) and would be getting a room all by myself.

There was a tradition of "ragging" the new students in the college. The
senior students used this tradition to maintain the so-called
discipline and attitude of the college. However, ragging was fun for
senior and torture for the juniors. Since I was the most different and
newest species in the college, as well as a celebrity in my own rights,
I was the prime recipient of ragging. During that time, I was a thin
built boy about 5'4" and had short hair. I used to wear only the formal
stuffs and didn't own even a pair of jeans.

The very second day that I joined the hostel, the senior girls entered
my room. They tried to appear very strict and rude. After observing all
my belongings, they asked me to disrobe completely. I was shocked and
refused saying "Look chicks you cant rag me, I am a real man for sure
not one of the girls. On my wish I can impregnate you whores but since
I don't want any trouble I am warning you that if you enter my room
again, I would complain to the warden." I felt so macho at that moment.
I thought I could get away with them just like I got away with the
principal.

However, they were very angered by my statement. So, the leader of
their group, Pema by name, told me "OK Mr. Sister, you have guts to try
to threaten your seniors, but now lets see whether you have balls to
face our torment". Then she whistled. Within seconds, senior students
flooded my room. Although most were physically as large as I was, some
(in fact many) of them were taller and stronger than me. Five of them
carried me with one closing my mouth. I tried to make the situation as
hard as possible for them but my best was not good enough. They took me
to another room and tied me to bed. One of them came towards me with a
syringe and said, "OK this is nothing but IV tranquilizer. I will
inject this to you but if you move while I am doing this then you may
have an air embolism and die. So don't move. Alright?"I nodded my head. Soon I felt a bit pain in my right cubittal fossa and
immediately I fell unconscious.

When I woke up I found myself in a class full of giggling girls and a
woman in her middle ages wearing a simple sari and plain makeup
standing next to me. She was staring at me angrily. My head felt heavy
and I could not recollect anything.

In a tone, which was nothing else but satire, she said, "Now the
princess has finally woken up we can start our anatomy class." She
added "By the way princess you do not make a nice impression upon
teachers when you sleep in their very first lecture of your course". I
started blushing. She went to the podium in front and started
lecturing. While she lectured, I tried to comprehend the situation.

First of all, I was not feeling comfortable. The head felt too heavy. I
placed my hand on the forehead to feel whether I was having fever. I
was in for a big surprise. I had long hair above my head. I tried to
move it and felt something move over my scalp. I tried to pull the hair
down but it was stuck somewhere and I was already drawing attention of
the woman lecturing in the front. So, I tried to bring my hand to my
face so that I could pretend that I was supporting my glasses. I was
not wearing glasses but I was seeing perfectly. I looked at my hand and
found that it was hairless, a few shades lighter, with my nail well
polished in red and manicured and I was wearing red chudis (bangles)!
It was the sound of my bangles, which had earlier caught attention of
the class and not the hair. Mehendi (henna tattoos) formed nice
patterns in my palms, which looked like the palm of a bride. My heart
was galloping at this moment and it nearly came out of my mouth when I
looked down at my body. I was wearing a red bridal blouse and red
saree. I felt my ears and found that I was wearing jhumka (ear rings).
I could feel that I was wearing paujus (female leg ornament) because it
made sound when I moved my legs in the high-heeled sandal, which were
uncomfortable even while sitting.

I turned red and wanted to run out of
the class but I had caught enough attention already and some remnants
of reasoning which hadn't forsaken me despite the adverse situation
told me that I could not run wearing a saree and hig heels.

From what I could make out, I was drugged heavily by the seniors,
crossdressed and then brought here to the class. Although the situation
was adverse, I tried to concentrate on the lecture. The lecture was
very informative and basic but I was not able to grasp it nicely
because my heart was speeding at 120 bpm. But after some time I was
totally absorbed in the lecture and was enjoying it. After finishing
the lecture, the professor seemed to remember something and said "
Class, I heard that there is a male student in this class and the
institution for the first time, Where is he?"

I stood up from my seat feeling proud. She looked at me and said,
"yes?" as if I was about to ask her a question. Then I realized that I
was not looking like a male at that time. So, I said, "I think he is
absent". Everyone laughed for no reason.

The lady professor, I think, felt humiliated and told me "Well maiya,
is that over makeup and exaggerated bridal clothing meant to compensate
for your masculine tone and reckless way of behaviour?" she continued
"I have seen lots of Big daddy's girls like you and have cured their
attitude. So beware. And from next time, if I find you wearing anything
except for skirt uniform in hospital rounds and plain saree or kurta
with shawl well placed to cover your bosom then you are expelled from
this college. Do I make myself clear?""But ma'am..." I now tried to tell her that I was the boy of the college. "OK" she interrupted "You may not have heard my introduction clearly. I am Kamana Rana, the dean of this nursing college. If you utter even a
single word except for affirmation now then you are out of here. So do
you abide by my line of discipline and clothing? "

"Yes ma'am" I said thinking that I would resolve the situation later
when her head cools down.

I don't know whether it was my submission or her trying to be bitchy on
the first day but she now started to lecture with me as the unethical
example and the high standards of ethics of nursing and how some people
have pervert impression of nurses because of people like me.

At the end of the class she asked me my name.

"Suman Sharma" I told her thinking that she might recall me as the boy
of her college.

She noted down my name. Then she left the class saying, " I will make
sure that the rest of the faculty take a good care of you!"

There was a routine on my desk and I came to know that there were no
more classes that day. The other girls started walking out in pairs
most probably the roommates were walking together. I waited for the
others to go because I knew that I would attract a lot of attention if
I tried to walk in saree and high heels and in the meantime I looked
around for Asha. She was not there.

After everyone had left, only a lady's handbag (on my desk) and I
remained in the room. Dean Rana had gone out for some urgent reason. So
I opened the handbag assuming that it was mine. It was. There was a
note inside it, which read, "Don't try to mess with us. We could have
made your life miserable by taking advantage of your situation. But we
just wanted to break the ice. Notice some minor changes in your life,
which will serve as a punishment for behaving rudely. We love you as a
junior student (although your cock is the smallest we have seen till
date...kidding). Your friend Asha was too keen to help you so we had to
lock her in her room. Don't forget to open her up. The key is in the
purse. By the way, don't try to remove any of the clothing or jewellery
before returning to the hostel"

I had to free Asha. But I felt an urgent need to urinate first. So I
went to the end of the hall where toilets were located. It was very
hard to walk with the cumbersome dress up. To my surprise, even in this
Amazonian world, there were separate male and female toilets. But the
male toilet was locked. So in the rush, I entered the female toilet. I
rushed into one of the toilet "terminals" but was in real trouble now.
I did not know how to pee. So I pulled up the front pleated part of
saree but there was petticoat inside. I pulled up the petticoat as well
but I was also wearing a pantyhose! So, I pulled down the pantyhose and
the panty both at once. Then, I noticed that my penis was tucked back
towards my perineum and attached to perineum by some adhesives and
tapes. Now I could no longer control my micturation. In fact, a few
drops started dribbling down. So, with my hose and panty already
lowered, without thinking I pulled up the saree and the petticoat and
sat on the toilet pan. Then I relieved myself. After micturation, I
felt my penis and found it quite numb. I was shocked and worried and
tried to remove the tape and the adhesives but then I remembered the
note in my purse and left it as it was.

I came out to find another girl staring at me from other sides of the
basins. Both of us smiled at each other simultaneously and waved "hi"
to each other. She was a left-handed person I thought on the basis of
the way she waved with left hand. I looked at her body to find that she
was dressed to kill with low cut sleeveless blouse revealing most parts
of her boobs and a bit of her red bra, just a translucent end of red
saree covering it which revealed more than it hid. The saree was well
worn and pinned and the pallu fell gracefully behind. She was wearing
red bangles and mehendi... wait a minute... I finally realized that I
was staring at my own reflection in the mirror! I moved close to the
mirror and found that I was looking hot and beautiful. I was wearing
contact lenses which made my eyes look like Aishworya Rai's eyes, my
face was well made up with mascara, eyeliner, curved arch forming
eyebrows, eyeshades, the foundation cream made me look fairer and the
blush applied on my cheeks had a pleasant effect. My lips were painted
bright red and looked full, I had jhumkas (earrings) on each of my
ears, which matched perfectly with the necklace, my hair i.e. the wig
was black, shoulder length, silky, left free and soft- they felt like
they were natural. My long neck looked graceful and my oval face with
small nose, small chin and large eyes seemed to shout that I am a
female and not a man. I squeezed the boobs to check whether it was real
and was glad to feel no sensation there. I looked great but I couldn't
stand there admiring myself, I had to go and unlock Asha's room. So I
hurried to the hostel with whatever grace and pain I could bear thanks
to the dress and the heel

Wife to my brother

Hi all of u i m from mumbai this story is between me and my brother
how i expressed him that i m a crossdresser and how i become his wife
my name is amit and my brothers name is suraj.

He is an mechanical engineer this story happened 2 years back when i
was in my 12 and he was in his final year of engineering my parents
were at bangalore and me and my husband (i.e. brother) are alone at
our house. I used to crossdress whenever i m left alone at home and i
used to do all the household chores like a women by wearing saree and
all other stuff which i had purchased. Everyday i used to sleep
seperately bcoz of my crossdressing habbit i used to wear nity and
sleep at nighyt but one saturday he came and knocked at my door and i
asked what happen he replied that he wants me to sleep with him i also
accepted that and i slept with him  this goes on CONTINUING on every
saturday. But on one saturday night we both were not able to sleep we
were discussing about sex and in meanwhile he started telling me his
fantasy over our mom i stopped him and told him that what are you
telling she is our mom he told so what and compromissed me but i
should say that i would also started liking incest one fine day my
husband(i.e my brother) came home at 1 in the night i asked him where
did you go he told me that he had gone to attend his friends wedding
celebration so i told him to have dinner and i gone to bed after
sometimes he came to my bedroom. My goodness on that night i was not
wearing nity. I asked him what happened y did u come to my room and he
doesn't said anything and came beside me and slept and i also slept.
But after sometimes i was feeling some erection on my cock i slightly
opened my eyed and sw that my husband is rubbing my cock i was not
understanding wat to do i was also really enjoying that so i donot
said anything to him and left him. This was the day of climax it was
saturday and my hubby told me to come to his room i told him that you
sleep i will come after sometimes on meanwhile i shaved all the hair
in my body and made my body like a women body smooth. After sometimes
entered his room i can see him that he his sleeping but i was knowing
that he was acting like he was sleeping so i removed my shirt and i
was only in my short and go slept beside him after sometime i can feel
his hand over my cock so in rply i also put my hand over is penis he
paniced for a second and saw me i was seeing into his and he was also
seeing into my eyes on a sudden he came close to me hugged me tightly
and started kissing me over my lips we both smooched for 5 mins i
really enjoyed that he told me too suck his cock i sucked it for 10
mins it was really tasty and he told me that ok darling its enough for
today and in rply i also said ok and kissed in his lips and we both
slept. On sunday i decided to tell him about my crossdressing fantasy.
So on night when he came to bed and slept beside me i told him that
honey wait for a scond i will be back he told me that go take u r time
darling i kissed on his forehead and went to the kitchen where in the
shelf i used to hide my saree, bra, peticoat and all other stuff. I
decided to wear a pink colour chiffon saree i removed all the matching
stuff related to the saree like pink peticoat, pink panty and i
started wearing them and APPLIED make up in the face and kept a wig on
my head and in no time i became a beautiful women who is ready for is
first night with his hot husband. I slowly opened the door and i saw
that my husband is sleeping naked and i closed the main door and room
door and all other WINDOWS of the house. I go close to him and told
that honey wake up u r darling is ready to sleep with u. He opened his
eyes and saw me seeing me he was really paniced and asked me that
where is my brother and i told him that i m u r brother my hero and
told him that from now onwards whenevere we are at home i m u r wife
and u r my husband he was not able to say a single word so i slept
beside him and started kissing him passionately he really enjoyed that
he told me that show me u r ass i will fuck u. I was showing my sexy
ass he pinched my ass and said what a ass u lovely and he started
inserting his 8" cock into my ass i was deeply immersed in the pain
but i really loved that pain he started fucking me hardly and fastly i
satarted to moan like slut like aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhmmm ooooohhhhhhhhhh he said to suck his cock i was sucking
his cock while sucking his cock i can feel the smell of ass in his
cock and after sometime he mastrubated in my mouth and he asked me
what is u r name sexy i not replied bcoz i had not kept any name for
me when i m crossdressed. I tiold him that i had not kept any name
when i m crossdressed so he told me that from now onwards u r name
will be pavithra i paniced for and told him that it's our mom's name
he told it's her name and he told me that whenever he want